Expat Dribble

Andrea Avery Jackley: An expat with lots of dribble to write about.

7.14.09

A friend of mine astutely pointed out that in my most recent “blather,” by which he so lovingly refers to my writing, I neglected to mention several news-making South Korean stories; and even made the absurd assertion that there was “not too much news to report.”

How could I be so ignorant? I completely bypassed the dramatic win of the (now) famed female South Korean golfer “Mickey Mouse”, otherwise known as Eun Hee Ji, at the Women’s U.S. Open. Mickey battled her way back from a seemingly dooming double-bogey six at the 10th hole to win it over Candie Kung, which leads me to believe that Asians are taking over golf. 

But in a round-about take on things, it’s been reported that Mickey likes to listen to white-bread rapper Eminem on her iPod while practicing; could this actually be a win for America’s unsung trailer trash? Food for thought.

Other headlines have been, yet again, dominated by Our Dear Leader to the North – only this time it has nothing to do with attention-grabbing antics like setting-off underground nukes and firing Hannah Barbera-grade missiles into the sea. This time, the story is Kimmy’s health, which seems to be visibly deteriorating in recent photos of his latest public appearance.

The picture shows the once unpleasantly plump mini-man, who has always had an affinity (one of many) for Prince-style platform shoes but is now reduced to wearing SNEAKERS (see Post “6.29.09“), in a rather emaciated body. 

According to the best intel from Seoul, Kimmy has been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer, and will probably be departed within five years. After which his favorite 25- or 26-year old son, bearing resemblance to his father, say some (despite no photos of the boy being taken since he was roughly 10 years old), will take the Dictatorial Helm. Oh goody. 

I’d like to conclude by saying that my elementary-aged students, whom I teach three days a week, have been inflicted by some sort of mysterious flu; a bug that causes them to curse incessantly. They’re extremely amused with their discovery of the all-encompassing Western slang term “F.U.” It’s become such an epidemic that all through my classes – despite repeated warnings and disciplinary actions – I hear “puck you! puck you!” followed by uncontrollable giggling. 

They’re also quite fond of saying things like “shut the mouth”; and, while looking at me coaxingly and waiting for a reaction, “son… OF… A…” – at which point I, of course, interject and look at them as sternly as possible (but, as is my downfall, I’m usually fighting off laughter). Another popular one: “sheeba!”, the equivalent of “shit.” 

Finally, in the heat of the moment last week, I jokingly flexed one of my biceps at this particular group of students and threatened to “beat them up” if they didn’t quit swearing in class. Since then I’ve found two renderings of myself drawn on desktops featuring almost Xena the Warrior Princess-like features. Does this make me a Korean superhero? Or perhaps, a Korean super VILLAIN? Muhahaha!

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